Diary of a Vampire
by Willowfan
Summary: Some secrets are meant to be kept.


Diary of a Vampire

By tarafan

**Copyright Disclaimer:** This is a work of fiction. The author does not own, nor are they making profit from, this story. Clan Toreador, The Embrace are all copyright of White Wolf Game Studio. This story in no way challenges the copyright. I'm just telling a story.

June 1, 2003

Dearest Jessie,

I am writing this diary for you in the hope that it will help you understand why it is we can no longer be together. Now the answer to this question will most likely bring up more questions as well, but I will do my best to answer them all for you.

I cannot live in a life built around lies any longer; I have done it for _much to long_. Before you start getting inquisitive or angry with me I shall explain what it is I mean. I haven't lied to you about anything except one very important detail about myself that I have kept hidden for many long years. I am still the same person that you fell in love with when we met a year ago today, but…oh god I thought this would be easier to write but when you lie about something for so long, the lie becomes the truth. Well since I can't think of any elegant, earth shattering way to say it in hopes to make it all sound less like a poor soap opera I think I had better just say it…I am a _Vampire._

Now I know what you're thinking and if I were in your position I would probably laugh and tell the person who said it that they were insane. But unfortunately it is the truth. I have chosen today to start this diary because of the date's historical significance to me. It was a year ago today that we met in my gallery, when I fell in love with you the first moment I saw you. You were standing there in a pair of blue jeans and a white spaghetti strap top with your long auburn hair that I love so much pulled back in a tight ponytail. You were staring at one of my paintings with a very cute, inquisitive stare. I walked up to you trying to hide my smile as best as I could and asked if I could help you. You turned and looked me in the eye with those sapphire eyes and smiled, and said "Yeah explain to why it is that a person could just throw a bunch of colors together in a tangled mass and yet make it so beautiful?" It is funny how life throws you a curve like that. My clan, the _artists_ as we are often called, has childer like myself who wouldn't fall in love with a skeptic… but it happened, and I'm getting ahead of myself.

This date also holds significance because it was June 1st 1803 when I was "_Embraced"_ (turned into a vampire). I was 23 years old and the only other person I had ever met in my 200 years of life that was close to being as beautiful as you are approached me that night while I was out on the front porch of our family estate doing a painting of our family's landscape. Her name was Ekaterina Von Vensel.

June 3 2003

Ekaterina was a strange woman. I met with her every night on the porch while I was doing my painting she would always make little comments like "How would you like to do this forever?". I never really paid much attention to these comments until after she had been visiting me for a little over a week. She started the conversation with her regular comments and that's all we talked about; she wouldn't have it any other way.

After almost an hour of her constant banter about living forever I had finally had enough. I turned to her and asked the question that changed my life forever. "How is one supposed to live forever, it is impossible so therefore I think we can end this conversation now." Well needless to say it was the wrong question. She moved faster then my eyes could register; all I knew was that one second she was standing in front of me and the next she was behind me with an iron grip on my jaw. "I thought you would never ask my love." She jerked my head back exposing the left side of my neck to her and dropped her mouth to me like a bloodthirsty beast. Before I could fight to get her off of me she bit down and I felt the most intense feeling in my whole life. It was almost sexual only more. I could feel it all the way down in my soul, yet at the same time I was quite terrified because I could feel my life slipping away. Before I felt my last breath slip away, she pulled back and I slid down her body to the floor.

June 15, 2003

I lay there taking in short breaths in hopes that I could get up and run but my strength failed me time and again. I watched in utter horror as she took her nail and raked it across her wrist. She held her wrist right above my mouth and her blood welled up and began dripping down to my lips; it was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted in my 200 years of unlife. She gently placed her hand behind my head and drew me up to her wrist "Drink of my blood my childe and experience life as you were truly meant to." I grabbed her wrist and drank deeply, after a few short moments that felt like an eternity she pulled her self free and stumbled back with a glazed over expression on her face and she spoke in a breathy voice. "That is enough my childe…it will only hurt for a moment." At first I was rather confused about what she meant by her final comment but I was not long after I had the thought that I knew what she meant.

June 17, 2003

The first shot of pain wasn't the worst but defiantly worth noting, my body racked and convulsed and as I lay there rolling in pain I knew that my body was dying. After a few minutes my body finally stopped convulsing and strangely enough I felt truly alive. That's kind of a funny thought that in death I felt more alive then I ever could have imagined in life. I rose slowly to my feet and she smiled to me, walked over and grabbed my hand. We walked away from my family's estate in silence out into the night the beautiful night. She taught me how to feed, and all of our _Vampiric_ rules. The most important one being that we are to remain secret mortals cannot know that we exist. I learned all about my vampiric gifts and eventually they became more powerful. So the first 100 years went by in a flash, Kat and I traveled all over the world seeing places I'd only dreamed of, and we eventually ended up here in San Francisco were I decided to open up my art gallery.

June 20, 2003

It was not long after I had the grand opening of my gallery that Kat came to me one night and said the words I'll never forget. "You have done very well for yourself my sweet childe, but I must leave you now." I was completely shocked and at a loss for words. She placed her index finger gently on my lips and spoke again. "Shh! My childe I know it is hard to understand but think of it as a mother cat leaving her kittens to fend for themselves in the wild, for if she does not they will grow dependent of her and never truly be able to live with out her." A thin tear of blood streaked down her cheek. "I will truly miss you Jason, My childe, my love." She kissed me softly on my lips turned and I haven't seen of heard from her since that night. For a long time I felt like the final piece of myself that I had struggled to keep alive died that night with but a kiss and the soft rustle of her long auburn hair twisting around her body as she walked away from me forever.

June 29, 2003

The first time I laid eyes on you, those long 87 years after Kat left me; I knew I had found someone who could fill the empty space that she left in my heart. I must admit I saw a lot of her in you and maybe I just wanted to, but I felt true unbridled happiness when I was with you. That is why it saddens me to have to let you go. I thought about giving you the fatal embrace so we could be together forever but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just love you to much to bring my curse upon you like that. In 200 years I have finally learned one thing that I will keep the rest of my days. "Eternal life sounds great until you come to the realization that you must live it alone!"

I hope that this diary has or will in time help you understand why I must leave.

Love always and forever

Jason Scott Anders

Clan Toreador

One final thing for you Dearest Jessica; Get rid of this diary as soon as possible. I'm sure someone out there knows I have written this and thus brought Final Death upon myself. No one will know I gave it to you, but that doesn't mean they won't find out if you keep it. So get rid of this diary as soon as possible!

A spot of blood hit the last page as Jessie finished reading the diary. She wiped the bloody tear from her cheek and looked over into Jason's shocked and hurt expression then her gaze fell to the stake that stuck out from his chest. Jessie placed her hand on Jason's paralyzed body and leaned into him very close and spoke in an almost inaudible whisper. "Jason you have told our story so well." She looked into his eyes and knew he understood what she had meant.

Ekaterina Von Vensal or Jessie to her new friends stood, and closed the diary then placed it in her backpack. She wiped another blood soaked tear from her face and bent over and spoke in Jason's ear one last time. "I'm sorry my love, it pains me to have to do this but I must…you know the rules." She kissed his lifeless lips and walked to the heavy drapes that covered the large picture window in her front room "I love you Jason…." She pulled the drapes open as she walked across the floor and out of the living room into the basement Bloody tears rolling down her cheeks the whole time.

As the first ray of sunshine caressed Jason's bare chest and his skin started to smolder and burn he could only think one thing.

I love you to…Jessica!

_The End?_

Written by: tarafan


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